|I always wanted to finish University before the construction of the new Building for the Institute was done.|
I missed the mark by 13 months.
I'm done with University
Not in a "I'm so fed up that I quit and started a career as an eccentric artist" kind of way, although I came pretty close to this state several times in the last two years. I'm done in the sense that I have finished everything that is required of me to get my degree.
The last two years of University were no fun at all. I somehow thought it would be a great idea to write my Thesis on a topic which no one else has worked on before (at least in regards to Human evolution) in an Institute where no one had any real expertise in morphology. So not only did I have write this whole thing, I also had to organize everything and did not had any person in my direct vicinity I could rely on if I had any questions.
Ok, the last part isn't completely true. I could have asked one of our former professors or could've reached out to people in other Universities, but I got so tangled up in this whole affair and was so stressed out, that I simply was not able to do it.
The Thesis suffered from that in end, there's no doubt about that and I will talk about this in a later post in more detail. However at some point I just decided that I had to write this thing this way. It had to be my thesis, with all its flaws and errors.
Writing the Thesis made me grow sick of Anthropology in general. I just could not stand it for a while and it made me doubt if I'm really suited for a "career" in that field. There are so many things which frustrate me. The obsession with data over theory, the obsession with description over explanation, the fact that people tend to oversell their discoveries in order to get more attention, the constant parade of big egos which stand in the way of scientific discussion. I just realized that it would make me a very cynical person if I would not be able to ignore all the bullshit that's going on in that field and I was (and still am) not sure if I can.
Things changed a little bit, after I handed in my thesis and started preparing for my finals. I still like the field. It makes me feel like I'm actually able to understand something in a way which I think no other field in the world is able to. This of course is not completely true because we're never going to be able to completely understand anything in the universe. But I think it's as close to the "truth" as it gets and that's all I need.
I like the question it asks, I like the feel of history this field carries with it. Not only in regards to its subject, but also considering that Anthropology always reflects current ideas about human nature.
I just realized, that if I'm ever going to pursue something like an academic career in Anthropology, it's going to be in a way that I'm happy with it. If I'm not able to ask the questions I want to ask, if I'm not able to pursue the things I find interesting, than I don't want to continue working in this field.
Too many people pursue a career for the sake of it. Just following what everyone else does and just "playing by the book". And as safe as this route may be and as smart as this might be, it's not something I'm interested in.
If possible I still want to stay close to the field. I just like talking about it and I really want to share the things that fascinate me with others.
Expect this Blog to be updated a bit more frequently. I also plan to reach out a bit more to other people and be more communicative in general. What that exactly means, I have no idea. I'm definitely going to share my Thesis with you, as soon as I can. And before that, expect a longer "post mortem" on my thesis and some general rambling about certain things that go through my mind.